-sometimes i really like you&sometimes i just really hate you. idk why, you can make me like&hate you so much. i used to try so hard to please you but that was a long time ago and i've already learn that you will forever be bias in terms of loving people. so yea, i accepted that and life's been better, just the usual love-hate thing going on.
-when people starts talking bout you and all, like asking if i ever miss you when ur always outstation or that u seem to busy to be at home, idk what to answer. the truth will seem harsh, all i do is smile and say of course. cause you see thing is, i dont, i really dont care if your gone for a week or 2, a month. it really doesnt make a difference anymore. its like you're here but then you're not. may be i'm just used to it. in fact, i think i'd be really tired&annoyed if you have nothing else to do and is around me all the time.
-i really do miss talking to you in the car, i'd rather just sit in the car and talk to you rather than go back to a house where i could hardly call a home, or can i? idk, i just have what i call as my BED&my PILLOW. yea. thats all. but i guess you're gonna spend more time over there now, since some idiot said something that hurt you like that. i hope both of you can patch it back together, i want to help but i have enough on my mind&i really just dunno where to start. both of you are equally stubborn..tho i have to say the idiot is obviously more wrong in many ways.
-you are probably the biggest bitch i've ever known, but then i dont think there's anyone else in this world who knows me more than you. you can make me smile&laugh till my tummy ache& at the same time hurt me so much with your words. i hate the fact that i put u 1st in everything and that you dont, heck, sometimes i just feel like you dont even care. sometimes, i dont even know why do i care for you so much cause it seems so not worth it, ur so bloody unappreciative and just wish me to be gone half the time. and i know for a fact that you care bout your stupid game more than me. ugh!!! but then i just really dont know how will i be able to survive for 18 years without you by my side, sometimes, i realise its cause of you i can make it this far.
-you were my first friend i've known ever since i came back to malaysia, a country so foreign to me, the country where i had no foundation in, the country that has literally changed me&my life. and i guess its really due to the language that we were friends, cause we're really very different people. but then, i really love you for sticking with me through everything. i really dont know how would i be able to cope with high school if it wasnt for you. i hope you come back soon cause life's really hard without you around, and i really hope that everything's alright with you&him. him-who until today i've never met, sadly.... lawls, soon i hope. i get to visit you there. hahahah~ this had been said since what, i'm in form3? :P
-i would really like to say thank you for coming into my life last year, i know we've just met and all but then i can really just "click" with you, not only that but having u around is like getting a injected with happiness(especially in the morning). & thank you so much for just being there, eventho sometimes you know that i dont wanna talk bout it or that you dont know anything bout something(like last year), you were just there,never pressuring me to say anything just making sure i was alright. i love the fact that i could just drive over to your place to chill&talk. woman, know that i got your back. so yea... i'll listen to you&be there for you just like how u are there for me too. just stay strong for the people you love. life's tough but i know for a fact that you're definitely tougher than LIFE itself.
-you're probably the most peaceful, kind person i've ever know. like passive god-like kindness, you even cry for things that are just "a LIL touching". you've never been mad at anything. you just really listen to what everyone has to say. eventho i find it funny when i catch you not understanding what i say half the time AND THAT u pretend that you do. may be you're just scared that i'll be piss or soemthing if you ask me to repeat but i really wont, cause no one can really stay mad at you for a long time. i dont know how u do it. having such balance in your life. everyone loves you, you never offend anyone and you know..its so weird, strange in fact, how can anyone do that?? i really cant understand. so drama-less, picture perfect life.
-you have the same effect as any adorable 3-year old have on me.. not every tho, not really a toddler fan. but yea... i just hope ur always happy&gets good vibe everyday cause even when i'm sad or unhappy and stuff, watching you happy makes me smile and i just forgets bout my happiness for that 3 secs or may be more. and when ur depress..same thing la. i guess you just could affect others with your mood, so yea, stay happy. and do you know, ever since the first time i missed school, i have never failed to call you-its like a tradition/ritual alread. you're like my update-r cause even in the most boring-est of days you can find something interesting&funny to say. you're definitely one of the people i'm glad to meet when i enter this place. dont pressure yourself with stupid things&you can always talk to me or some1 else who u find close if something's up..k. dont keep it in cause u know&i know that when u tell it to someone you'll feel better :)
-thanks for making me laugh all the time, i'm really sorry for what i've done back when i was in form3, due to your gender preference i distant myself. guess it really hurt a lot. but then u just forgave me and stuff.. i'm glad now eventho we've gone our respective ways. we still hangs a lot, and you getting funnier each time we see each other :D friday night was a blast. i havent laugh so much in such a long time. thank you so very very much. and sorry for all i've done to you, i know i kinda treat u in a really mean way at times. and you always just say "xi guan jiu hao" m really sorry bout that =( and thanks for caring eventho you have no idea what is happening in my life :) but u know just making me laugh, makes my day. so yea..thanks~
-i dont even know, why should i include in this, its like you're so not even worth my time talking bout you here.in my blog. but yea...i used to like you, until things happened last year. and then i hate you, now i just sympathise you..with a lil dislike,hatred. yea... i sympathise you for being so attention seeking and yet could never get it. you're causing so many dramas&troubles for other people, i'd wish you'll stop. but knowing you, i doubt it. you have a man, and yet you go around the school flirting with every bloody guy you see. seriously, whore much? but yea..whatever la, may be u lack attention at home (which is kinda impossible since knowing ur family background, i HIGHLY doubt it) and i realise you hate to see me happy, so yea, too bad i caught on that part fast so now whenever you're around, even when i'm depress, i'll act HAPPY.
-i would say i trust u a lot, but then i wouldnt rely on you in times of real troubles and stuff cause well you put your own emotions in front of everyone else's needs. so yea, relying on you will be risky and i am not a risk-taker. so yea. &your words are like so fake at times, half of the time i dont believe it, its like so taken out from books or part of movies and stuff you know, like the one line that everyone goes " *o* awwwww~ " but then in reality the poeple uttering these lines does not exist, so yea..i dont buy it. honestly, i dont. but then, i'm really glad that i met you&the other fella, who could make my day if the 3 of us just hangout and all without the DISTURBANCE of certain people. last year seemed easy enough, this year, we cant even get like half an hour to ourselves =( sadly... anyways, i wanna thank you too for genuinely caring, listening to me venting&ranting :P
-you're like one of the people i consider close, but too bad we're not of the same class&everything else. may be its fate? never of the same class,sports house,any clubs, nothing.. o.o but then idk why u always have that perfect timing, there when i needed someone. so yea..thanks for everything, i think no "thanks" is enough to tell you how much i really thank you, the gratitude&all for everything you've done(not once or twice but quite a few times). its just too bad that now, our friendhsip has gotten like this. i hope everything will be alright soon. i'm sorry for everything that i've done to you&put you in. seriously i am. so anyways, just do what you want, and yea, i'm here whenever you need me. take care of yourself and just stay focus on your studies.
-i'm really surprise at the amount of trust you placed on me knowing that we've only met each other less than a year. i know you're not exactly everyone's favorite person&that you really have troubles with one of your friend(s) but yea...hope you stay strong and all. some people will dislike you cause may be they dont know your story . but yea, you really do have LOTS of room for improvement and i really hope you'll work on it, cause seriously, it'll definitely make you a better person&that your relationship with other people will be better. oh! and thanks for updating me with all those current issues and make these kind of topics real fun(thanks to the sarcasm) :P its really rare and hard to find people who can discuss these kind of topics with, so yea :)
-thanks for making me laugh all the time, i'm really sorry for what i've done back when i was in form3, due to your gender preference i distant myself. guess it really hurt a lot. but then u just forgave me and stuff.. i'm glad now eventho we've gone our respective ways. we still hangs a lot, and you getting funnier each time we see each other :D friday night was a blast. i havent laugh so much in such a long time. thank you so very very much. and sorry for all i've done to you, i know i kinda treat u in a really mean way at times. and you always just say "xi guan jiu hao" m really sorry bout that =( and thanks for caring eventho you have no idea what is happening in my life :) but u know just making me laugh, makes my day. so yea..thanks~
-i dont even know, why should i include in this, its like you're so not even worth my time talking bout you here.in my blog. but yea...i used to like you, until things happened last year. and then i hate you, now i just sympathise you..with a lil dislike,hatred. yea... i sympathise you for being so attention seeking and yet could never get it. you're causing so many dramas&troubles for other people, i'd wish you'll stop. but knowing you, i doubt it. you have a man, and yet you go around the school flirting with every bloody guy you see. seriously, whore much? but yea..whatever la, may be u lack attention at home (which is kinda impossible since knowing ur family background, i HIGHLY doubt it) and i realise you hate to see me happy, so yea, too bad i caught on that part fast so now whenever you're around, even when i'm depress, i'll act HAPPY.
-i would say i trust u a lot, but then i wouldnt rely on you in times of real troubles and stuff cause well you put your own emotions in front of everyone else's needs. so yea, relying on you will be risky and i am not a risk-taker. so yea. &your words are like so fake at times, half of the time i dont believe it, its like so taken out from books or part of movies and stuff you know, like the one line that everyone goes " *o* awwwww~ " but then in reality the poeple uttering these lines does not exist, so yea..i dont buy it. honestly, i dont. but then, i'm really glad that i met you&the other fella, who could make my day if the 3 of us just hangout and all without the DISTURBANCE of certain people. last year seemed easy enough, this year, we cant even get like half an hour to ourselves =( sadly... anyways, i wanna thank you too for genuinely caring, listening to me venting&ranting :P
-you're like one of the people i consider close, but too bad we're not of the same class&everything else. may be its fate? never of the same class,sports house,any clubs, nothing.. o.o but then idk why u always have that perfect timing, there when i needed someone. so yea..thanks for everything, i think no "thanks" is enough to tell you how much i really thank you, the gratitude&all for everything you've done(not once or twice but quite a few times). its just too bad that now, our friendhsip has gotten like this. i hope everything will be alright soon. i'm sorry for everything that i've done to you&put you in. seriously i am. so anyways, just do what you want, and yea, i'm here whenever you need me. take care of yourself and just stay focus on your studies.
-i'm really surprise at the amount of trust you placed on me knowing that we've only met each other less than a year. i know you're not exactly everyone's favorite person&that you really have troubles with one of your friend(s) but yea...hope you stay strong and all. some people will dislike you cause may be they dont know your story . but yea, you really do have LOTS of room for improvement and i really hope you'll work on it, cause seriously, it'll definitely make you a better person&that your relationship with other people will be better. oh! and thanks for updating me with all those current issues and make these kind of topics real fun(thanks to the sarcasm) :P its really rare and hard to find people who can discuss these kind of topics with, so yea :)
2 comments:
i totally understand what you're saying here :D thank you. thanks a lot. been through a hard time right now? Relax. Take a deep breath.
so much truth to handle?!
think. do. be. positive.
p/s: chill ming :)
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