i have issues

yes, i'm very much aware of that.

everyday i ask myself, what am i doing. and i get the same answer every time... i don't know =/

i think people should stay away from me, or i should stay away from people...i dont know, human interaction is a two way thing so yeaa~ if you know what i mean... (excluding immediate family members, cause lately, they're the only ones who can put a smile on my face or i feel stress-free with em)

i have this awesome ability to make people feel really close and the next day, hour, minute, second...distant. and then they think its their problem, actually its not. its mine. i dont know, its like i cant treat a person in a "constant" manner. i think its prolly cause when someone gets close to me or something, i get freaked. so i try to create a space/gap. gahh!~ whatever i dont wanna think about it.

STPM STPM STPM. i suddenly have so much drive to work hard for it. teacher's pep talk help a lot. hope it last :P

so today was great, you know the feeling of satisfaction when you get things done, yesh, i LOVE that. which is why i think i'm a workaholic. i think i'll just immerse myself with work to keep myself occupy :)

so today, after school i went to buy stationeries needed by visdo&roksuny ~

then then went to the office and count the stocks (since tomorrow due to the demonstration thing, the office will be close- mum's a paranoid, seriously) =.= then went to pay and pay and more paying. so done with all the payings. all mum's stuff :D

okayy~ i dont even know why i'm talking about this. anyway! i just really really really like the feeling of having soemthing to do. like holding a cheque book and paying bills with cheque, thats cool you know. at least for me it is. is that lame? o.o

walking with an aim. yea, i like that.

which then i have come to a conclusion that, i am a workaholic, i cant stop. i dont want to stop. i love being bored and just stare up the ceiling to chill. but its really just either i'm doing nothing other than lying on the bed and STARE at the ceiling, or i have something to do. get what i mean?

i think i just feel glad that i get to share some of my mum's burden, seriously, there's just SOME things that she's really horrible at and that includes paying bills on time and things related to paperwork (eg. cheques)

lalalalalaalaalalalalalalal~ oh! and i have awesome parking lucks today! :D seriously. i like that too. and and and i broke my own record i CHANGED in the car, when i was stuck in traffic. NO JOKE. no i didnt strip...i'm just realy good. no skin exposed but i changed. from school uniform to that last year 7k t-shirt. not that hard actually since my uniform isnt exactly tight :P so yeaa~ BUT STILL! i'm so proud of myself :3

depends? sometimes, thats selfish, no?